Week 3: [The Deadly Series]: Lust
Updated: Oct 23, 2021
This first series, called the Deadly Series, will be a 7-week long journey where we will be discussing the 7 deadly sins that God finds detestable to his people. There will be one sin per week, with each sin we will talk about the Godly traits we will need to exhibit to combat the deadly one. Don’t worry, we will discuss these sins in grave detail as this series will be very informative, thought-provoking, and loaded with various bible scriptures to help support and back each discussion-based topic.
Within this series, viewers/ readers will have an opportunity to purchase original content worksheets to further enrich their knowledge and gain even more Golden Nuggets!
Prayer: Precious Lord and Most Grateful Father, we first and foremost thank you for who you are. You are a forgiving and merciful God that loves your people. We thank you for who you are and you being the light that guides our footsteps. The bible says that your word is for correction and reproof, Lord give us the knowledge we need and the opportunity that follows to apply your word to our lives. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Lust Is A Sin
For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. It is a fire that burns all the way to hell. It would wipe out everything I own.
Lust: an overwhelming, intense, unrestrained, sexual desire or craving.
Do You Struggle With Lust?
Why Is Lust a Sin?
Lust is a sin, like all of the other sins we have been discussing because it keeps us from God. Lust can be like an unattended fire that can quickly get out of hand and burn everything that we stand on or hold dear, to the ground. Having Lustful desires and thoughts keeps us away from God and most importantly only feeds our flesh. Lust does not come from God, but from the world.
Let’s Break It Down, Shall We!
Some people can get the wrong idea about lust, and what it means to be lustful. Just like some can get the wrong idea about what love means as well.
Love VS Lust
Are you in Love or Lust?
Love is the purest form of anything. Love covers a multitude of sins. God is love. We love our parents, friends, sometimes our jobs, families, and our lives, right? These are things we love. Love is a deep interest or pleasure in something or someone. It’s a heartfelt and warm affection for something. I’m not talking about sex or anything related to that, just simply love!
Dictionary.com defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
A sexual passion or desire.
So my question is when does love turn into an infatuation of Lust? Is there a fine line between love and lust? Let’s see what lust says.
Lust is an unrestrained sexual desire or craving as mentioned earlier from our definition. To further explain, Dictionary.com defines lust as an intense sexual desire or appetite. Uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness. A passionate or overmastering desire or craving.
Yea, that’s lust alright! I wanted to break down what lust and love were so we can get an understanding of both terms. More often than not, people fall in “Love” and don’t even know the difference between the two, or what it truly is.
First things first let’s how lust impacts us!
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
How Lust and Sex Affects Us
Triangular Love Theory
Last year we discussed in Weekly Topic Saturdays #52: How You Loving? A breakdown of what love was and the eight different types of love. Let’s refresh. There are three components of love: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. The ideal version of love is Consummate Love, this is what God wants for us to have, which means to have all three components working equally. The eight different types of love are as follows: non-love, liking/friendships, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love. The problem with today's society is that we get stuck in different phases of lust that we think is love.
Using the Triangular Love Theory model with its eight types of love as an example there are stages here that are purely lustful. Let’s look at Infatuated Love and Fatuous Love. In both of these types, there is passion. Passion in this case meaning sex. For infatuated love, this looks like the no-strings-attached kind of situation or a one-night stand. It is the heat of the moment, lust. In infatuated love there is only passion, no commitment to the other person, and no close intimacy or vulnerability, you are practically strangers that find each other attractive and that's it. With Fatuous Love, this may be an exclusive situation where you aren’t sleeping with other people, so there is passion (sex) and commitment with one person, but no real intimacy. This type of relationship is purely sexual. These are the types of relationships that God wants for us to avoid at all costs because it is not healthy. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize that having sex randomly outside of a married union creates soul ties, and each time you become one flesh with someone you leave pieces of yourself with them and you take pieces of them with you.
When I was of age to know what sex was, I can remember my parents instilling in me to wait until I was married to have sex. You know “The Talk”, the, “let me know when you’re thinking about having sex that way your not mislead or unprepared when or if it does happen”. If you know me by now, my mind was riddled with questions, of course, I withheld them from my parents but it never stopped me from pondering on the thoughts of sex at that age. What is sex? Why should I wait? What if I don’t wait, then what? Does God still love me the same if I go through with it?
How were you introduced to sex?
Did you feel comfortable talking about it to someone when you were younger?
Do you feel comfortable now speaking about it?
Vulnerable to Ungodly Soul Ties
When we engage in premarital sex we open ourselves up to soul ties. A soul tie is any relationship where two people become one, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Think of having an invisible umbilical cord that ties you and another person together.
It’s easy to think that the bible doesn’t state clearly using words like “condemn” or “do not do this”, when it somes to premarital sex; but the bible talks about sex in a positive light when two people come together as a marital union or martial bond.
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Even Apostle Paul stated in 1 Corinthians that we should glorify God with our bodies. The body is not built for sexual immorality. We are to honor our bodies, not destroy them with impurities.
“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Be mindful of what you allow yourself to be vulnerable too. Truth be told, I wish I knew this kind of information when I was much younger, I would have been more mindful of what God had given me as well as what he requires of me.
Passion VS Intimacy
Passion: a strong feeling or emotion
Intimacy: a trustworthy connection that makes room for vulnerability and closeness
Quick side note: Society does a horrible job at knowing the difference between these two words. Then again we should hold any stock in this so-called world anyways. Passion and Intimacy are two completely different things. I can be passionate about anything, education, my family, my hobbies, A Golden Dream, and fashion. All of these things are strong feelings that I hold dear to something that I love. However, Intimacy is nothing more than a connection with someone. This is not to say that intimacy has to be sex or lust-related.
There is a misconception around the word intimate. Immediately one thinks of sex, but that’s not the case at all. Like the definition mentioned above, it’s a trustworthy connection that vulnerability and honesty lie. I have two or three friends that I have a close and intimate relationship with, closer than my family. When you build that trust, faith in the relationship, and vulnerability over time then you will be able to straighten your intimacy levels with people.
Do you have a close intimacy with friends or family?
Characteristics of a Lustful Spirit
You are focused more so on a person's looks and body parts!
Interested in only having sex and not a connection, closeness, or getting to know that person!
Thrives off fantasies and the thrill of it all rather than discussing real feelings for each other!
Lovers but not friends. Your relationship is based on sex and that’s it. Most likely won’t become more than that!
Only one thing on their minds and nothing else!
Has no interest in building a relationship or connection!
You desire intense sexual gratification from this person!
You imagine yourself sexually with this person!
People In the Bible That Struggled With Lust
Like we have been discussing in the previous post, no one was or is perfect in the bible. There are many examples in the bible of people who have suffered from lust and its all-consuming temptations. Let’s dive in and find out who!
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Let’s start with King David if you will turn in your bibles to [2 Samuel 11:1-27] to follow along with me while I summarize. So in this chapter, we meet King David and he was home in Jerusalem while his army went off to war. Late one evening when he couldn’t sleep he went out to his roof to walk around when he saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba, bathing.
Now King David sent someone to gather intel about her to find out who she was, MIND you at this point the messenger told the King that she was married to a man named Uriah, a soldier in his army. Now King David knew exactly who Uriah was and he still sent the messenger to go and get her and bring her to his home. When Bathsheba came to his house he slept with her and she went back home only to find out later that she was pregnant with his child. At this point, David began to panic and sent for Uriah to come back from war.
Now in King David’s mind, he thought that if he called Uriah in from the battle that Uriah would go home and make love to his wife and this would make Uriah believe that the child she was carrying was his. Uriah, however, had other plans. He told the King, [ Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s ,em are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live I will not do such a thing! 2 Samuel 11:11]. He was basically telling David that he didn’t feel comfortable relaxing when his fellow soldiers were out and in the field in the midst of chaos. So you know what King David did, he told Uriah not to worry and that he would send him back out into the field the next day. King David’s M.O., now was to send Uriah back out into war and have him killed so that he could let Bathsheba, who was unsuspecting of the plot to have her husband Uriah killed, know. As soon as Bathsheba found out about her husband's untimely death, she grieved and then David had packed up her belongings, moved her into his home, and married her all before she began showing to make it appear to his followers that what they had done was right. God was upset, to say the least!
Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.
This man had shed an innocent man’s blood all because he was lusting after another man’s wife.
This is another example of lust that led to the death of an innocent man. To read along, turn in your bibles to [Mark 6:18-29]. In this story, we meet King Herod, Herodias, Herodias’s Daughter, and John the Baptist. John the Baptist informed Herod that it was considered unlawful to marry your brother's wife. Let me give you some background info: Herod had a brother named Phillip, and Phillip had a wife named Herodais. Herodais had heard the information that John was telling Herod and she became very upset which led to her holding a grudge against John. Herodias wanted to kill John but could not because King Herod had arrested John the Baptist to protect him.
King Herod both feared and protected John the Baptist because he viewed John to be a righteous and holy man. Now, it was the day of King Herod’s birthday and he decided to throw together a big banquet party. At the party, he had dinner guests and you guessed it, Herodias’s Daughter. Now the daughter was the entertainment, she danced before the guest and Herod and amazed everyone. This was especially true for King Herod, he became so lustful from watching her dance that he offered and promised an oath to her to give her anything her heart desired up to half of the kingdom.
Not knowing what to ask for she runs out to her mother, Herodias, remember her, for help deciding. Herodias took this time to ask for John the Baptist's head on a platter, knowing that Herod would deliver it because he would not go back on an oath. The daughter runs back in and asks for his head and because Herod did not want to refuse her due to the oath and the guests he ordered an executioner to behead John and bring in his head. He presented the head to the girl and she took it back to her mother.
Lust will lead you to do a lot of sinful things that you wouldn’t usually do like lying, stealing, cheating, and even killing. Both of these men were willing to kill for lust, neither were willing to fight the temptation of doing so. The power that lust has is strong.
Worldly Perspective On Lust
So for those that do not know me, I absolutely love to learn and I like doing research to arm myself with knowledge. Before writing this post I did some research on sex and lust and I found some statistics surrounding this topic that I wanted to share. According to the CDC, approximately 50% of all sexually active men and women will have a form of genital HPV infection, whether it is low risk (genital warts) or high risk (causing cervical and other cancers). In the college setting, about 66.7% of students reported having a “friends with benefits” (fatuous or infatuated love) relationship according to the CDC. This last statistic was staggering to me, only 23.8% of women and 33.7% of men that actively engage in sex between the ages of 15 to 44 use protection. That means that 76.2% of women and 66.3% of men between that age range that are active sexually do not use protection. These statistics alone are alarming enough to want to abstain from having any more premarital sex. It may feel good at the moment but at what cost to you? Spiritually it is damaging. You are not just having sex with that one person but rather with all the people that that person has slept with.
Dating: Now in today’s society people are not dating to find love anymore. Unfortunately, people get into relationships with other people that God intended for them to be in their lives for a season or for a moment. The standards around dating have been lowered considerably if not abandoned altogether. Relationships aren’t working out for this very reason, people are unevenly yoked and unfaithful. Unfaithfulness, in today's society, has become something to attain through music videos, television, movies, books, and so on. People no longer stay in committed relationships; they think that it is okay to have side pieces while in relationships.
Pornography: I am pretty sure that every one of us has watched porn at one point or another. Pornography is a breeding ground for lust. Porn creates a false idea of what it means to have sex with your loved one. Porn will make you lust after things that you do not have and if you are engaged in it while you are married it can lead to adultery. The bible says that if you look upon someone lustfully then you have already committed adultery in your heart. The world says that it is okay to watch porn, that it's okay to watch such an intimate moment.
What Does the Bible Say About Lust
The Bible warns against lust wholeheartedly, it warns that lust is the catalyst to a multitude of other sins. The temptations and the pull of the flesh is strong but we have to be ready and prepared to fight it. Lust is about possession and greed, and it has a focus on pleasing oneself. God has called us to live according to him and his will, he wants for us to live holy and avoid living an impure life. Anyone that knows what the will of God is and refuses to follow them is rejecting God.
Ways We Can Combat Lust
For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
1 thessalonians 4:7-8
Set Boundaries For Yourself. I’ve said this before in Motivational Mondays #06: Setting Boundaries to Protect A Good Heart! (Part 1) in order for you to be successful in keeping God’s Word, you have to set boundaries. Avoiding temptation can help with combating lust. If you know that going to that party, going over to a certain person's house, or watching particular things is going to tempt you then be smart and avoid those things unless you have built up the willpower to resist them.
Dating/Courtship/Vetting: One way to combat lust would be to take the time to court each other before even getting in a relationship. This means taking the time to get to know the other person to know who they are, their background, and their beliefs. It is important that when we do begin dating and marriage is a possibility to know that the relationship is evenly yoked. We should go back to taking the time to vet others instead of just jumping into relationships because we think that someone looks “hot.”
Admit Your Weaknesses: Overcoming lust means being vulnerable with God and with yourself. Take some time and get to know yourself. Learn what tempts you, learn what it is that gets you in trouble. This makes all the difference because it prepares you to know what to look out for. It teaches you to be aware of yourself and your surroundings. If watching certain movies leads you to think lustfully then stop watching them.
Put on the Whole Armor of God: God has provided us in the bible with the gear that we need to battle sins that he finds detestable like lust, greed, and pride. God wouldn’t send us out into war with these temptations and sins without protection. If you are unsure of what the Full Armor of God is, no worries, please turn in your bibles to [Ephesians 6:10-18] to read up on what the Lord has provided each and every one of us with.
Knowing The Word of God: It is imperative as a follower of Christ that you take the time to learn the Word of God. Just like we talked about in Motivational Monday #23: Holy Clap Backs in order to effectively and efficiently combat the adversary, the pulls of the world, and sin; you have to know the bible. It is not just enough to memorize scripture but you have to know it in your heart. The enemy is not going to wait for you to pull out your bible, he isn’t going to wait for you to roll through all of your notes and note cards. Temptation doesn’t care who you are, it is rated “E” for everyone, but luckily for you, so is the Bible!
Avoid Tempting Situations: This is a big one. Like I mentioned earlier, if you know that being in a particular place or around particular people is going to tempt you then you need to avoid this at all costs. Why put yourself through having to fight that temptation in the first place if you don’t have to? This may mean that you have to change from who you were to transform into what God has called you to be.
Pray Constantly: The bible tells us to fast and pray without ceasing. We should be doing this all the time but in times of dire need when the rise of lustful temptation is high, knowing the Word and praying to God will help. God can help you get through all situations, not just through the good times. We have to remember that he is there for us and is ready and willing to help us through whatever we are going through. I think that most people feel like they are alone because they cannot see him, but trust me he is there all the time. He never leaves you. Pray to him and he shall answer you! If you are having trouble hearing him it means that you have way too many distractions and you need to fast so that God can get through.
Avoid Pornography: Avoid watching pornography because all it is doing is opening doors to ungodly avenues. Be patient and wait for that special someone to come along to be in your life forever. Porn isn’t the answer to sex, it may feel good at the moment but long term it is like having unprotected sex with strangers, it puts you at risk spiritually and mentally.
Use Social Media, With Caution: Social media is another breeding ground for all of the sins that God finds detestable, especially lust. Social media is a doorway to the world. In today’s society, more now than before in the past, sex sells. It’s everywhere and accessible to everyone with social media being the mecca for it. Why do you think that is? It’s because the topic of sex is taboo, we aren’t talking about it in church, and people are too ashamed to ask about it. We have to consider who the targets are here! It’s the youth, people who start at the young age of 5 and go well into their late 40’s.
If you don’t think that your children aren’t being exposed to sex then you are in denial, it is everywhere. We are constantly being accosted with sexual images in movies, shows, television, social media platforms, as well as people showboating their possessions, and other sinful things. These things can lead you to become envious, its intent is to make you compare yourself to others and then feel guilt, shame, and lust over the things that you don’t have. The bible clearly tells us that it is a sin to compare ourselves to others. I encourage you to sit down and talk to your youth because they are the largest consumers of social media. I urge you to use social media with the utmost caution, take the time to really filter out all of the things that will cause you to fall into sin. You can use social media but use it with care.
Put Your Lust In ✅
Golden Nuggets I leave You!
Hey Golden Family, we had a rough topic today. What I really wanted to do is rip the bandage of this taboo subject called lust. Which we know leads to the action of sex. I mean, let’s face it, sex is everywhere and on everything nowadays. You can’t turn your head without seeing people kissing people, sexual innuendos, soft pornography, or something of the sort. But yet Christians and the church don’t want to talk about this matter or act like it’s not even a problem.
I pray that this series post blessed you and has brought up questions, and perspectives that you didn't have before you read this post. I pray that you learned something and have expanded on the newfound knowledge that has led you back into the Word of God. That’s the whole point, right? We have to have these types of conversations or else our children and the next generation will learn it from a worldly viewpoint instead of the Word of the Lord. We die because of the lack of knowledge, we have to show ourselves approved by reading our bibles.
I hope today’s topic penetrated your mind, heart, and soul. I pray that it has shifted you into purpose according to what God has for you. Lastly, I’ll leave you with this, be mindful of your lustful desires. Keep them at bay and fight them with the power of God’s Word and surely you will win the battle every time.
Show acts of Humility and Asceticism. Remember that forms of Pride, Greed, and Lust kill the spirit, but with God, you can be healed and restored. Amen.
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
Questions To Consider:
With the world striving off of lust through images, advertising, social media, and television coverage, What can I do to keep myself from indulging in Lust?
Do I have a clear representation of what Love and Lust is?
Am I acting in a spirit of lust thinking that it’s love and it's really not?