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Weekly Topic Saturday #52: How You Loving?

Welcome to Weekly Topic Saturdays!

Hello all, I pray that your week was filled with joy and love. Welcome back to those who have been with me here at A Golden Dream. For my first-timers, a great big hello there, if you haven't already please check out my previous posts when you get a chance.

Please don't hesitate to join the conversation, there are no right or wrong answers or questions. I'm not proclaiming to know everything, I am simply just discussing and picking topics on things that I personally have gone through and that I know would help someone.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthian 13:13

My best friend is in a master’s program as a psychology major and some days after she has finished her school work she will tell me some of the interesting things that she has learned from class. In one of her classes, she was learning about love and its characteristics. Let’s dive in because I would love to share with you what I learned.

She told me that a psychologist by the name of Robert Sternberg developed a theory, Triangular Theory of Love, that describes the different types of love in an interpersonal relationship. Now for those of you that are like me and are wondering what an interpersonal relationship is, don’t worry, I got you!! Interpersonal relationships are any relationships that fulfill the physical and emotional needs you have. It makes up the connections that form between you and other people that range from very close to distant. Don’t worry I’ll explain.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is based on three different components that make up the triangle: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Based on those three components of the triangle, Sternberg believed that there were eight different types of love using the various combinations of the three components such as non-love, liking/friendship, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love! That’s a lot of love!

Love Breakdown

Intimacy- Is the emotional bonding or sense of closeness to another person through shared experiences

Passion- The realm of romance or physical attraction

Commitment- Is the private/public short/long-term commitment to someone. In this a person can choose to invest themselves as well as their resources to someone for as long as they choose.

Let’s Break It Down Even Further

1. Non-love- No intimacy, No passion, No commitment

2. Liking/Friendship- There is intimacy without passion and without commitment

3. Infatuated Love- There is passion without intimacy and without commitment

4. Empty Love- There is commitment without passion and without intimacy. This happens when someone wants the idea or is desperate for a long-term commitment (marriage, children, financial stability, advancement, etc.) but does not have any connection to the other person and usually is forcing the relationship.

5. Romantic Love- There is passion and intimacy without commitment.

6. Companionate Love- There is intimacy and commitment without passion. This type of love is inclusive of certain close friendships (besties, childhood friends, long-term friends, etc.) This love is also inclusive of relationships where passion is no longer present but the intimacy and commitment still remain.

7. Fatuous Love- There is passion and commitment but no intimacy. This is the brief new relationship energy type of love where everything is new and exciting but the energy quickly falls or subsides.

8. Consummate Love- This love has all three: passion, commitment, and intimacy and is the ideal goal of love.

How You Loving God!?

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

As my best friend was explaining this theory to me and as I was taking notes, it got me to thinking about my relationship with God and which type of love our relationship fell under. Ideally, the love and relationship that I want to have with God would be one that is consummate where there is passion, commitment, and intimacy.


But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Matthew 6:6

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

James 4:8

To be intimate with God, our creator, would mean that we would have to Seek His Face and Build A Connection Through Prayer with him. We can be intimate with God by talking with him daily and sharing with him our experiences. Oftentimes, we forget about God and we forget that he is there waiting for us to reach out to him and we forget because we cannot see him. We forget that God wants to hear about our day even though he already knows what happened before it happened. God wants to know how important he is in your life. He knows that one of the most valuable things in your life is time and he wants to know how you will spend it. One way that you can build your intimacy with God is through creating a prayer closet where you can carve time out to be with him and him alone. So often, we, myself included, get so caught up in our schedules that we don’t remember to include him in the process.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

Colossians 3:23

To be passionate with God means being bold and confident for him. Passion for God is all about doing things for the Glory of Him. This means that whatever you do whether it be eating, drinking, working, creating, and so on do it for his glory. Being passionate for God means worshipping him, giving him the honor and the praise because he is worthy to be praised. God wants to know that he means something to you. Passion for God means that you have Active Faith, demonstrating to him that you believe in him and what he has in store for you. It means that you trust in him and you can cast all of your burdens, anxieties, stress, and worries onto him and trust that he will take care of them all. Passion for God means that you are not leaning on your understanding but instead waiting and learning from his word while applying it to your life.


Let your heart therefore be wholly true to the Lord our God, walking in his statutes and keeping his commandments, as at this day.

1 King 8:61

Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.

Psalm 31:5

To show commitment to God means that you are a For Sure Christian that is a Living Sacrifice for him. Commitment is the equivalent of devoting your life to him. Showing God that you love him by standing up for him not only in private but in public also. It means following and keeping his commandments, praying daily, repenting daily, and striving not to sin. Commitment is following the laws within his Word even when it goes against what the world says. Commitment is also showing God that you will stick by him and trust in him even when times get tough or things become hard to handle.

Questions To Consider:

1 How are you loving God?

2. What is your love status? How can it be improved?

3. Which of the three components are you lacking in?

4. Can you apply this theory to other relationships in your life?

With Love, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on the status of your relationships especially the one that you are building with God. Think about the three elements of the triangle intimacy, passion, and commitment, and determine which element is lacking. It is important in this life of ours to spend our time building and strengthening our relationship with him. One thing that God loves is relationship building and the love for others. We should all thrive on healthy consummate relationships and work on building bridges to help one another. So, How You Loving!?

~Just Breathe...A Golden Dream~


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