Motivational Mondays #06: Setting Boundaries to Protect A Good Heart! (Part 1)
Welcome to Motivational Mondays!
First things first, what is Motivational Mondays? Just like it sounds, to motivate, to empower, and to encourage you on the first day of a fresh week. I don't know about you but Mondays can be a drag for me, so sometimes words of encouragement and positivity are helpful to start my day off right.
Motivational Monday's topic is: Setting Boundaries to Protect a Good Heart!
By a show of comments, how many of you have a hard time saying the word “NO” to people without having to explain yourself?
I know that I did, and at times I still do. In the past, I would feel so bad and guilty for saying no that I would feel compelled to give them an explanation as to why. By not saying no I was taken for granted and oftentimes unappreciated.
I was doing things to please others and not doing it with a good sound heart. I was doing it because I felt obligated in order for them to either like me, keep the peace, fit in, or get their approval rather than doing it because of the goodness of my own heart.
Always saying yes becomes a very draining and overwhelming experience. I was finding that I would become overworked and overwhelmed because I was stretching myself way too thinly trying to appease everyone. This does not become any easier when those around you know your triggers and can guilt trip or manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do.
Several Things Happen When You Start People Pleasing:
You lose sight of your purpose
You compromise with sin; lying, stealing, fornication, jealousy, and so on
You stunt your faith from growing
“Does this sound as if I am trying to win human approval? No indeed! What I want is God’s approval! Am I trying to be popular with people? If I were still trying to do so, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Whose approval are you going to follow, God’s or people’s?
Always be careful on why you do things, it's pointless if you do them in obligation rather than genuine regard. I think God cares about What we do but I also think he pays more attention to the Why we do what we do.
"A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things."
Are we storing up good treasures or evil ones? Do your Good treasures outweigh the bad treasures?
I think what has helped me along the way was getting rid of the notion that I had to be Captain Savior. Setting boundaries for myself was a great way to protect my energy, time, and peace of mind; especially when you have people around you that are energy drainers.
This is also a key element in taking care of your well-being and preserving your time. Mental Health is a MUST.
How Do You Begin To Set Boundaries to Protect The Heart?
Understand That Your Feelings and Needs Are Valid!
Figure out what you want and then don't stop fighting until you get it, and if that person can’t give you it, then pray about it and move on. You shouldn’t be in a relationship of any kind where your feelings are not important or heard. When respect is not being served, have enough self-respect to walk away.
Strengthen Your Muscle of Discernment!
Recognize when temptation is around you. It is beneficial to know when certain situations or people tempt you into falling further in sin so that you can avoid it. Remember discernment is the ability to judge well. If it's not good for you then get out of there! Get out of that situation or problem. Ask God to help strengthen your ability to judge accordingly. This is a skill that is learned and with practice, it can be mastered with the help of the Lord.
Know Your Personal Limitations!
Knowing what you can and can’t handle when it comes to people is important. I had to build up my boundaries in this department. If you don’t do this then you will burn out over time. Trust me!
Knowing your emotional triggers falls under this umbrella as well. Triggers can be unpleasant situations or events that come up that make you feel tense or uneasy. For instance, if you know large group settings makes you uncomfortable, then assert yourself, make it known, and do what makes you comfortable with your preference of smaller group outings.
Prepare For Boundary Breakers!
It's bound to happen, a person crosses the line, and oversteps your boundaries. Learning to be direct in expressing how it makes you feel will communicate to the person what they did wrong, and why you didn’t like it; in hopes that they will remember for future instances and respect your space. It also realistically communicates to the person what they can expect from you. In addition to that, if the boundary breaker continues then be willing to revert back to point number 1.
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4: 23
When it says “keep your heart”, meaning to preserve or watch over your heart.
When it says, “with all diligence” meaning with care, showing watchfulness, conscientiousness.
We should all guard our hearts; protect it, and be proactive, as the bible states, “ in creating in me a clean heart.” What is a clean heart? We want a pure heart, a heart that's like Christ.
Always remember that YOU cannot PLEASE PEOPLE! I'm talking to both myself and to you too! It’s dangerous to please the flesh, the flesh is never satisfied. Always focus on God and what his will for you is. People with good hearts are always the ones that suffer the most, but don't be in despair, God sees all and knows your heart. Protect your heart at all costs and pray and ask God to equip you with what you need.
Join the conversation and drop a comment below!
**I hope everyone has a safe and blessed week and I will see you all on Saturday for our Weekly Topic Saturdays**
~Just Breathe...A Golden Dream~