Welcome to Weekly Topic Saturdays!
Hello all, I pray that your week was filled with joy and love. Welcome back to those who have been with me here at A Golden Dream. For my first-timers, a great big hello there, if you haven't already please check out my previous posts when you get a chance.
Please don't hesitate to join the conversation, there are no right or wrong answers or questions. I'm not proclaiming to know everything, I am simply just discussing and picking topics on things that I personally have gone through and that I know would help someone.
So first things first good morning Golden Family. How is everyone doing? I can’t wait to get into this blog topic today. Today I wanted to discuss a few chapters in the book that I’ve been currently reading called, Big Bold & Beautiful: Owning The Woman God Made You To Be by Kierra Sheard Kelly.
I posted that I began reading the book a few weeks back on AGD’s Instagram page, so I thought because it was so good why not make it a post.
Before even reading the book itself I was impressed with the titles she used for each chapter written. I personally wanted to highlight three chapters of Big Bold & Beautiful that really resonated with me which are Chapter 1: Self-Care and Squad Goals, Chapter 15: Nevermind, I’m Redefining it, and lastly Chapter 16: Chill Out.
Chapter 1: Self-Care and Squad Goals
In this chapter, she states in order to succeed we must protect ourselves and the things we hold value to, our passions. She used a great analogy when her mom and nanna would protect their kitchen and food around the holidays because they were mindful of who was all in the kitchen. If you weren’t helping then you had to get out of the way because you were taking up too much space (Sheard, 2021, p, 1). Helping out in the kitchen consists of cleaning and washing the dishes so that the kitchen could run smoothly, or just planning to help with the food. Children were a no-no when it came to being in the kitchen.
She related this fact to self-care and building a legacy. She further exclaimed that her mom and nanna wouldn't tell all their secrets in family recipes but only gave hints from time to time.
“You should be very protective with your recipes and space - whether it’s a passion for making music or ideas you have for new products, or even the time you need to focus on a goal you want to achieve. So don’t feel the need to keep people around if they're getting in the way of your success or your purpose. Some hard decisions will need to be made to maintain and build your legacy. And you’ll discover some of the people around you are real family who are worthy of what you have to offer, and some are guests just there for the meal. To determine which relationships are for a lifetime, and which ones have an expiration date, ask yourself, “Who’s my ‘family’?”Remove the people who are just taking up space, remove those with childlike tendencies and mentalities. Make sure they are mature enough to handle your greatness and where you’re going. You’ll need some wise counsel from time to time. Will they know what to say? Then protect your recipes.”
-Kierra Sheard, 2021, p. 2-3
What are your thoughts? Comment below. All I can say is that she's dropping major wisdom and facts. I love a good analogy.
Are there people in your life taking up space
or riddance that shouldn't be there?
Do you or could you know or recognize the difference?
There have been plenty of times where people took up too much space in my inner circle. They took a lot out of my kitchen and even stole recipes and didn't even have the common courtesy of replacing it or better yet asking if they could take it. It took me many years and failed trials and tests to even recognize that this was a problem.
I cannot stress this enough, self-care is necessary and beneficial for your life and health. It hurts to be mentally unstable and unhealthy. It hurts! Remove people out of your kitchen to protect your prized and praise-worthy recipes.
Your kitchen should be your inner peace, your innermost being that encompasses the peace that God gives you. Just like the kitchen in the staple piece of a house, your kitchen is where God dwells within you. So protect it at all cost.
My mother was the same way when it came to her kitchen. She always told me never to cook in a dirty kitchen, clean it up first, and then cook. The same goes with your life, when we start new relationships, new jobs, new projects, new friends, we need to have a mental check-in and stay to ourselves, “Can I mentally withstand this”.
Case and Point. My best friend teases me about how I throw away old things if I get tired of seeing them all the time. She told me that I would literally replace it with something new and throw away the old item even if it's not all the way finished yet. I laughed at her as she was telling me this because it is so true. I will chuck a half drank Gatorade or soda bottle so quickly.
She even brought up the fact that once, I treated myself to a shopping spree three years ago and bought almost a whole new wardrobe but before I could put my new clothes into my closet I had to purge old clothes out. One thing about me, I will never have to worry about being a hoarder because I don't like clutter or old stuff hanging about.
The same goes with our mind and inner peace. What we bring in, we must also discard out. Our body's natural system is parallel to this same concept. We eat what we desire, we digest it, our bodies take what it needs from it and then discards the waste.
So, why can’t you protect and discard what's in your kitchen?
Some people are better at it than others. They have gotten to a place where they are making upgrades and renovating to accommodate their desired space (their kitchen) but, that's only because they had the ability to protect what they have currently and discarded what they didn't need so they could potentially and in due season begin to soon grow.
1. What is God wanting me to accomplish this season of my life?
2. What does my kitchen currently look like?
3. Am I protecting my inner peace? Could I use some upgrades or maintenance?
4. What are some ways that I could discard what I don't need?
Chapter 15: Nevermind I’m Redefining it
This chapter really resonated with me because it talks about how we sometimes get so wrapped up in comparing ourselves to others that we lose sight of what God is doing in our lives currently.
Kierra Sheard explains how we let the world define who we are by sometimes following trends, labels, other people, and materialistic things. I’ve learned firsthand is that jealousy robbed me of my purpose and joy. It takes a hold of my peace of mind, and by doing that I would be focusing on what I don’t have. The bible specifically tells us what happens when we become jealous of others and what that does to us.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility
For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?
1 Corinthians 3:3
We wouldn’t put ourselves in the same class with or compare ourselves to those who are bold enough to make their own recommendations. Certainly, when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves to themselves, they show how foolish they are.
2 Corinthians 10:12
Ouch! I know, right? These scriptures stepped on my toes too. I’ve definitely fallen short with comparing myself to others throughout my life and as a result, was looking foolish but, learning what the bible tells me and correcting my habitual behavior is more beneficial from my spiritual growth and development than paying attention to what my friends, family, and the world has.
With comparing we can lose sight of what it truly means to be successful. One thing I also loved in the book is that she redefines what success means to her. Talk a look.
“My goal for success at one point was only to have money! I mean, having a good stream of income is still a part of the goal, but now my focus is to be successful by being thorough in my business dealings, being healthy, being a good friend, being heaven-bound, remaining a solid daughter, sister, and friend, and being a good person to myself inside and out. All because I started looking at everything I needed, not only what the world taught me to think I needed. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying don’t have inspirations, goals, and ambitions based on the examples you see around you. I’m not saying become complacent with mediocrity. I am saying love yourself enough to not mute yourself by being so busy comparing yourself to what the next person is doing. Set realistic goals for yourself, stay in God’s face, and ask him, “ What’s next for me? And how can you help me to get there in my own way?” You were brought into the earth with a purpose, and the only thing that should be driving you is the reason you are here. What's that purpose?”
-Kierra Sheard, 2021, p.80
When I was reading this part of the book I was in my room like, “Yes ma’am!!....Yaaasss!!, PERIOD!!... She's dropping facts !!” What are your thoughts?
1. How do you define success? A lot of money? Clothes? Fame?
2. Do you have an eye for jealousy?
3. What's causing you to lose focus?
4. What’s something that you need to redefine? Your faith? Joy? Prayer life?
Chapter 16: Chill Out
How is everyone liking the past two chapters I chose to highlight? Pretty good right!?! Well, check out this last chapter that I wanted to highlight! Chapter 16 really spoke to me. As I mentioned in Motivational Monday #34: Your Body is an Investment, the importance of taking care of your body and tending to your health. It is important for us to know that our bodies are not our own, they belong to God. We must take stewardship over our bodies and care for them accordingly.
In this chapter, Kierra stresses the same concern. She talks about how we need rest. She talks about how we tend to have tunnel vision hustling and grinding each and every day, day in and day out, that we forget to take the time to chill out and take a beat to rest and reset.
The lord is dealing with me on this right here. I have conditioned myself to keep working even when it is not healthy for me anymore. I have pushed myself so far to the limits that I end up making myself sick in the process. I don’t take the necessary rest when needed. I have become so restless, that even attempting to form complete sentences has become a challenging task. I know that can be hard to believe since I am writing to you in this blog, but trust me it’s a struggle at times. Here is another great excerpt where Kierra was spitting straight facts, check it out!
“For a while, I thought that being a part of the “no sleep gang” was the thing to do. I thought that being up late and having early mornings showed a different level of commitment and sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I work late. However, my behavior began disrupting my restorative process, which contributed to me not always operating fluently in my assignment, in my gift, or in my purpose.”
-Kierra Sheard, 2021, p.84
I love that! It brings tears to my eyes knowing that I am not alone in this, that there is someone else out there like Kierra that is struggling with some of the same things that I am. I am a night owl, so if the moon is up, I'm up. This pattern of not sleeping and not getting rest can have, and will have a long-lasting and lingering impact on the body and the mind. When you are tired it is hard to comprehend or process anything. The body and the mind is not as alert as it should be which leaves it vulnerable to all types of things. Why do you think one of the first things they say when you are sick is to get plenty of rest!?! Without sleep or rest, the adversary can wreak havoc much easier because your defenses are down and you are vulnerable to the attacks. Check out this excerpt, Kierra was on it, man!
“God deals with me in my sleep when it comes to my clothing line, Eleven60, and my personal life. In my dreams, he shows me designs, situations I’ll face, and people I should pray about. So when I don’t rest, not only does it affect how I operate in purpose, it cuts down a line of communication between God and me.”
-Kierra Sheard, 2021, p.84-85
I just love that! I wrote in the Weekly Topic Saturday #7: Ten Things You Don’t Know About Me post that I had vivid dreams both of the natural and the spiritual when I am asleep. I know that God uses my dreams to speak to me and give me visions. So if I cut that off or hinder that communication by not taking the time to rest or sleep then I am hurting myself in the end and harming my connection with God.
We have to get to a point or a place where we give up the things that are a hindrance to us and our connection with our creator. We all need our rest to reset, and recharge!
How is the quality of your sleep?
Are you getting sleep or rest? Do you know the difference?
Am I taking stewardship over my body?
Do I know what my body needs when it is emotionally, physically, and spiritually deprived of something?
With Love, Golden Dreamers I hope you enjoyed this blog post like I am enjoying reading Big Bold & Beautiful. If you haven't picked up the book, I encourage you to do so. This book is a great read and it is so inspirational. You can order this book from Amazon, your local bookstores, or her website, www.iamkierrasheard.com. You won’t regret it. Please take care of yourselves out there. Nothing aside from God is more important. Remember you cannot be of service to him or anyone else if you are depleted and hurting yourself. That job will be there, those family members will be there, and if they aren’t then they weren’t meant for you to begin with. There is no need to stretch yourself so thin that you rip. Advocate for yourself and practice self-love, because you are worthy of it, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Sheard, K. K. (2021). Big, bold, and beautiful: Owning the woman god made you to be. Zondervan.
~Just Breathe...A Golden Dream~